FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
