Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize