It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
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Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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