This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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