I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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