Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
