why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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