New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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