Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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