So drunk its hurt
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
