Yo dont text me then not text me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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