I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
