I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
