dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
