The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.