I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
this is an emotional support booty call
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
