new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
