I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize