when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
