You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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