I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
