I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize