i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
