but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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