So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've blown a few things in my day
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize