There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
