i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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