I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need water and some morals
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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