Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
