we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
