She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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