Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
