That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
