I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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