They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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