so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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