I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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