I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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