Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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