Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
