I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize