Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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