I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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