I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
