i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
