No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you will always have a special place in my vag
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
