R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
