im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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