everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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