Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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