In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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