why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
