there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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