dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
there was a trapeze. enough said
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
