Sponge bath it is.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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