But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
