So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize
