haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
