i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
